Shawn's Story - Support

“it’ll all be over soon enough” is one of the many thoughts I had racing through my mind. Not too long ago, I had my worse bout of depression yet. Feeling at an all-time low emotionally, dark thoughts were entering my mind, one after the other. Every waking hour felt like a struggle, getting out of bed was a challenge, and eating properly was next to impossible. Things were bad, and it showed. I lost a lot of weight, I was talking to friends less and less, I almost never left my room, and suicidal thoughts were racing through my mind.

I knew I couldn’t continue living this way. With the risk of something happening increasing with each day, things had to change. I had to accept the fact that I was not well. Despite the constant feelings of sorrow and despair, I knew I had to push myself to think positively. Coming to terms with it all was the first step, but having never felt this terrible before, I had no idea how to deal with it all.

What usually brought me joy now had little effect. I had to find new ways to cope with this situation. As such, I chose to consistently remind myself of the positives in my life, all the people I treasured, and the repercussions of my actions if things took a turn for the worse. I read stories about people who chose to take their lives in the end, and the pain described by others is something I could never imagine bringing upon my family and friends. I took every opportunity I could to leave the house and spend time with friends. I surrounded myself with people who loved me as much as I loved them.

Over time I slowly beat depression, but that was due to, what I feel is ultimately, luck. I believe I am lucky because I have all these wonderful people in my life who were both my reason and motivation to keep going.