Shawn's Story - Support

“it’ll all be over soon enough” is one of the many thoughts I had racing through my mind. Not too long ago, I had my worse bout of depression yet. Feeling at an all-time low emotionally, dark thoughts were entering my mind, one after the other. Every waking hour felt like a struggle, getting out of bed was a challenge, and eating properly was next to impossible. Things were bad, and it showed. I lost a lot of weight, I was talking to friends less and less, I almost never left my room, and suicidal thoughts were racing through my mind.

I knew I couldn’t continue living this way. With the risk of something happening increasing with each day, things had to change. I had to accept the fact that I was not well. Despite the constant feelings of sorrow and despair, I knew I had to push myself to think positively. Coming to terms with it all was the first step, but having never felt this terrible before, I had no idea how to deal with it all.

What usually brought me joy now had little effect. I had to find new ways to cope with this situation. As such, I chose to consistently remind myself of the positives in my life, all the people I treasured, and the repercussions of my actions if things took a turn for the worse. I read stories about people who chose to take their lives in the end, and the pain described by others is something I could never imagine bringing upon my family and friends. I took every opportunity I could to leave the house and spend time with friends. I surrounded myself with people who loved me as much as I loved them.

Over time I slowly beat depression, but that was due to, what I feel is ultimately, luck. I believe I am lucky because I have all these wonderful people in my life who were both my reason and motivation to keep going.

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Anonymous Submission

I've grown up with alcoholic parents, I've developed anxiety, depression and BPD over these events and probably have CPTSD. BUT no matter how much I've suffered and struggled with even getting out of